This ‘passion’ thing has been glorified and overexposed. If you don’t have it, you’re likely to feel deficient and the hard truth is – it’s likely you’re swimming in the doom pool for a very good reason – you are genuinely deficient in it. Many people change jobs, hobbies, locations and relationships and wake up each morning and look in the mirror and think, ‘why do I hate my job?’, ‘why can’t I complete anything’, ‘why am I in this relationship’, ‘why do they have it better?’ and ‘where am I’. You’ll beat yourself up with anxiety and rely on external ‘feel goods’ to keep you afloat in that pool, and these will work, for a little while …. There are always tell-tale signs you’re missing genuine passion in your life – you feel no energy, no positive emotion, no genuine care for what you are doing in your personal or professional life, mimic your partner’s behaviour rather than prioritise your own due to co-dependency and poor emotional intelligence, and question your choices – these are red flags, not personality flaws.
Until you discover PURPOSE in your relationship with yourself – passion will always be elusive. Purpose is what drives you. It offers the deepest sense of fulfilment. Purpose fills life with meaning, not passion. As coaches we find talk of passion superficial – frankly passion is not a work requirement – if you don’t have a calling and feel lost – chill … if you’re interested in learning and growing, that’s purposeful and enough and a great place to start.
If you’re itching to start or renew your search for purpose do it – and do it for yourself rather than impress the neighbours, your family, your new love interest or your friends. Searching for purpose means standing alone and owning you – you’ll generate positive energy through that search in itself.
We encourage all of our clients to slow down and experience the process, by exploring volunteer opportunities and interests away from their familiar stomping ground of family, friends and partners. That panic zone was meant to be teased and you’ll never head towards it if you stay in that stretch zone. We encourage our clients to operate in their Goldilocks Zones. There’s no formula and no magic. Purpose exists where it’s least expected. Trust in serendipity, trying new things until something renews your energy.
PIQUING YOUR CURIOSITY
Never underestimate the power of curiosity. A desire of know and learn, curiosity ignites your mind and forces it to wake up and come alive. Our coaching sessions begin in libraries for a very good reason, not to seek out motivational books and self-help books, but to allow our clients to explore the wealth of knowledge before them without digital overload. When you admit that although you don’t know something, you’re eager and willing to find out about it, you release your potential to achieve incredible things. You then become open to the possibility of your purpose.
Inquisitive people ask questions, seek answers, wonder how things work and try fresh approaches to old problems. You can easily recognise them by their behaviours. I refer to this phenomenon as ‘vuja de’ – the opposite of ‘déjà vu’. It means examining an existing problem or situation with fresh eyes and an open mind, often resulting in a creative and innovative solution. This is the essence of experiential learning and a cornerstone of our coaching tools.
Curious people are constantly searching for ‘new’ information. You’ll find them in bookstores and libraries sitting on the floor, absorbed in a book about some seemingly random subject. They proactively solicit feedback from their work managers, spouses, friends and almost anyone. They ask profound and insightful questions. We encourage our clients to strive to take in fresh information, consider their resources and then expand them. Finding someone who inspires you and asking them what they’re reading, watching, listening to is highly effective. Curiosity naturally leads you to learn, unlearn and relearn. Philosopher Eric Hoffer said it perfectly with –
“In the future, the learners will inherit the earth, while the learned with find themselves beautifully equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.”
When we’re dead and gone, people can judge us on what we’ve accomplished, until then it’s up to you to keep searching for what you’ll accomplish next. Your curiosity puts you in the driver’s seat.
EXAMINE YOUR MOTIVES
If your motives are pure and honest, you’ll experience forward momentum. If you’re not, your purpose will elude you and your purpose will remain locked up. A recent client noted after an honest inventory of her life that her goals and aspirations slowly had begun over the years to mimic her spouse’s ambitions leading her to, in her words, ‘feeling deceived by my own motives’. Others have told us that their goals have been to leverage their community status to in turn gain access to the movers and shakers. We gave both of these clients actual red flags to carry with them to keep their awareness on point. Self-examination, awareness and honest evaluation can be terrifying but what it can reveal is life altering. Working with a coach can help you change your course, we usually see straight through it – these performance driven behaviours of people pleasing and external needs for validation in order to feel confident are self-defeating and rob you of self-worth.
Working with vulnerable women over the years we have a power phrase for empowerment,
‘The most feared human on the planet is the woman who requires no validation’.
Many of our clients say they chase expensive highs to increase self-importance be that financially or regarding time investments. Many feel that at this point they feel their lives have become a joke and as one client put it, ‘like someone sold me a bag of sand filled with holes’. Many feel they need to feel important but realise they are not significant.
We allow our clients to explore themselves deeply to learn that permanent and real validation comes from within. When your confidence is unshakable and unaffected by the way others react to you, this authentic confidence leads to authentic motives, which creates authentic connections and authentic results.
Increasing your confidence by being willing to pay the price to develop character and a spirit of adventure and excellence is our trademark. Give instead of take, be kind, and care for someone who can do nothing for you. We ask all our clients to do the inner work of examining their motives, no matter what situation. Failing to do so risks building your life on an unstable foundation, so rid your system of backstabbing, politicking and attempting to control outcomes. When you’re obsessed with achieving a particular outcome, you’re disconnect from your spirit. Instead, consider living your life with detached intention. When you’re open to different outcomes, you’re aligned with your spirit. This inner peace releases your purpose and attracts what’s in your best interest – in other words, get out of your own way! You’ll recongise your purpose when time ceases to exist and there’s an alignment in your heart, head and hands. Purpose isn’t external, it’s something you own inside.
IGNITE YOUR INTUITION
Intuition is knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes. Call it a hunch or your six sense, we say it’s your human superpower. It’s when you simply know you were meant to walk a certain path or make a specific decision. You don’t know why, you just do. Listening to and following your instincts in key to becoming purpose driven. When you live with purpose, you become more intentional about what you do and how you do it. While many people depend on hard data, schooling and the experiences of others to make decision, we invite our clients to remain open to what their intuition might be telling them, especially if it’s different from what logic in their lives indicates. We realise that there are times when you simply don’t have enough information to make a good decision – so what do you do then? Get quiet, listen to your gut, go with it and see where it takes you.
Going against the grain isn’t always easy, but neither is standing alone in the crowd. Whether the world approves or disapproves of you following your intuition is not important. You are the one who has to live with your choices. You’ll know that your instinct is on target by the peace you’ll feel in your soul.
EVAULATE THE CORE AREAS OF YOUR LIFE
If you feel trapped in 9-5 job, social circle, relationship and feel undervalued, under skilled, under educated or underappreciated, you’re not living with your purpose. How do we get our clients to process this and identify this … by examining their true core – beliefs and values and redefining them. When we ask these questions, most clients have no real identity to their actual values or cores, they became lost with them. We encourage our clients to stop living beneath their potential and give themselves permission to be intentional to move more deeply into who they want to become. The core areas of your life are personal to you and your purpose and only you can truly define them. Soul searching asking personal questions, defining strengths and weakness and pushing perceived perceptions is worth the struggle for some of our clients to finally take the plunge and ask themselves what do I really want to do. Seeking the truths within the core areas of your life both inside and out will help you walk a purpose driven path.
DEVELOP HIGH IMPACT HABITS
Our fast track Productivity Guide we resource to our clients encourages them to pursue high leverage or impact habits. This is one of the most crucial things you can do to live with purpose. These are the behaviours and actions that move you farthest and the fastest direction in your heart’s desire. High impact activities accelerate the process of unleashing your purpose. On the flip side, low impact habits drain your energy, enthusiasm for life and your efforts thus delaying and preventing you from finding your purpose. You’ll feel lost and undervalued – and begin looking for those quick fixes to maintain your self-esteem – yep the ones that brought you to this point in the first place.
Developing a habit of being a steward of your time and energy is essential. What you do with these two resources will determine the outcome of your life. Time is our most precious assess and yet many people let it slip away on activities that never move them forward. How much time to you spend investing in TV, surfing the internet, shopping … only to find it’s all noise.
We ask our clients to remind themselves daily that if they are to live their purpose and reach their goals that these low impact activities can’t consume their day. Guarding your energy and protecting you spirit during what we call the ‘hour of power’ each morning is the glue of beginnings. It will differ for everyone but a great place to start is 20 minutes of mediation, 20 minutes of exercise and 20 minutes of reading aloud – no digital data!
We live in an electronic world that moves at the speed of light, and many of our clients say they’ve forgotten how to focus. Simple morning rituals will open your mind. Meditation or whole body awareness centres your energy and intention on how your day will unfold. Exercise invigorates your body and create momentum and reading focuses your mind and reading aloud expands your vocabulary and increases your confidence.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Living your purpose means waking up every morning excited. The moment your feet hit the ground you can’t wait to make a difference in the life of another. You’re so excited to solve a problem, put a smile on someone’s face, identify a solution to an issue and you go to bed at night with the internal satisfaction that you were your most productive self that day. You brought your best self to work and gave it 100 percent.
With 2019 almost here we don’t subscribe to the notion of New Year’s Resolutions and don’t encourage our client to do so either. We do however appreciate that the new year is a time of refreshment and beginnings – we encourage our clients to seek out New Year Intentions.
If you’re looking for a change in direction in your life and looking to start this new year, we offer several personal development packages to suit all lifestyles and get our clients in the groove by laying out a simple three step exercise –
Ask yourself, ‘how can I use my purpose to make a difference’ – your subconscious mind will open to possibilities.
Seek actively for answers to how you can use your purpose each day. Look for the path you’re supposed to take, do your research and understand that you many have to follow a lot of rabbit holes and dead ends to get there, but this is all part of the journey and process. The path to living out your purpose isn’t always obvious or clear. Get out there and explore – read books that ‘speak’ to you and seek guidance from people who can help you live your purpose. Once you’ve opened your mind and heart to the possibilities, pay close attention to the people who show up – they are there to teach you a lesson, challenge your or help you on your path.
And keep knocking. When you come upon a door of opportunity that your intuitively believe is for you, you must knock. If you want to find out what’s on the other side, you have to push it open and step through. Every single day take one small step that moves you in the direction of your purpose. Write down goals, break them down into smaller goals and then into actionable steps and we promise you these investments will add up quickly.
Believe within your spirit that this is why you are here. Make the decisions and choices that bring into your life the things that help you fulfil your purpose rather than passions. There will be times when you lose your footing or take a wrong step, but that’s the nature of it. Each step, whether right or wrong will teach you something and lead you close to your purpose. Listen and pay attention to each one.
Consciously live each day like a live stream and begin your transformation with us in 2019.
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